Friday, October 9, 2009

9/04/2007 Vacation - All I ever wanted

I just got back from vacation. I spent a week in a two bedroom condo across the street from Lego Land in Carlsbad. Five kids - two two-year olds in cribs crammed next to our bed - so lights out in that room at 8:30 - no TV on. Very romantic. This was the week that they fertilized the plowed flower fields which surround the area with that pungent fish meal.
During this record heat wave, we hit Lego Land (two separate days); Sea World; San Diego Wild Animal Park (over 100 degrees - It was like Lawrence of Arabia crossing the Nefud with strollers); the San Diego Zoo; and one splendid day going to the beach and driving wave runners (quote from my son to me after he fell off and refused to ride anymore that day - "I hate this and I hate you."). He got over it and this saying is now part of our family slogan anthology.
As I sweated behind strollers in lines at the various theme parks we visited, I could not help but notice that in the relatively health-conscious county of San Diego (where admittedly many are out of town tourists), there seemed to be a remarkable abundance of well nourished people who seemed to suffer from no apparent disability, but had elected to utilize those "rascal" style three wheel electric carts that I used to think were only for paralytics, amputees or people with drool trays. One lady who appeared to be about 385 and forty years old banked around a curving sidewalk that dropped down into the freshwater fish exhibit at Sea world at about five miles an hour. She took out a bunch of unsuspecting fish gazers like bowling pins, as I scooped up my little boy and bailed out of the way.
There is simply a metric buttload of large, mechanically -propelled people, I-pods and cell phones at these places. I can't imagine how horrible (Brando whispering "the HORROR") it might have been if I had been sentenced to do this time at Magic Mountain. I would have packed motion-sickness pills and a harpoon.
Upon my return, I had a greater appreciation for my own home (once power was restored at 3 am), as well as an understanding of why skinny Muslims might want to kill us and use our stretched skins for shade.
Today is my (our) 25th wedding anniversary. We are going to rent Rascals with "support the troops" ribbon stickers, wear American league umpire protection under our relaxed clothing, jack down a mouthful of blotter, steal someone else's I-pods and collide with slender, childless, folk with prisoner of war haircuts in Laguna Beach before they close the Boom -Boom Room....if we can find a baby-sitter. Then we are going Amish.

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